recently like many of you i’ve wanted to disconnect. which would mean closing twitter, facebook, few of my email accounts, lose a phone number or two. i’ve stayed connected to be connected and i’ve longed for simpler times. if i’m not home when you call you don’t get me. maybe some things would be redefined this way. what’s an emergency, what’s important, what’s a deadline….etc. maybe we would invest that time in the relationships around us, the neighbor’s around us, our friends…especially our families.
joni’s song is about her relationship with donald freed, well most of the album is about her and donald’s relationship. i like the lyric on the song “facelift” where she is having this conversation with her mother and she says…“She said, Did you come home to disgrace us!” I said, Why is this joy not allowed? For God’s sake! I’m middle-aged, mama and time moves swift and you know happiness is the best face lift! i’ve borrowed the line “i’m middle age” more then a few times to allow for certain behavior. but that’s a whole nother song. there’s days when i just need to surrender and let fate and duty shape me…though i want you to know it’s probably going to piss me off.
i’ve loved joni’s painting side. someday i hope to own an original though i’m not sure that day will happen. she was responsible for many of her album covers, along with others like “so far” by crosby stills nash and young and others. there’s days where i’ll look through her pictures, pick one for my desktop background, dreaming it’s in a frame on my wall. she would say like others that i want a piece of her, maybe not. there’s days i wish i could paint pyrotechnic, figuratively speaking. meaning i wish i could live a little version of the postcard. some days i long for simpler times, which i know is unreal, sometimes i miss my dad who died some 29 years ago. is it wrong to think about these things when my life is so blessed?
i’m feelin you Job or should I say Joni. i want to shout it from the mountain tops how i’m so tired of the …. but alas this project was started so i would keep my mouth shut and submit. i’m sure he is pretty tired of my shit. i’m not ready to do the whole hebrews 12:9…you know “embrace God’s training so you can live.” i mean i have in many ways but there is lessons that i’ll dolly up with cool accessories to make them more palatable. hope their not of the “vomit you out of my mouth” kind. yet, this probably comes at a good time since maundy thursday is upon us.
if your not familiar with this work give it a listen. joni uses background vocals to play the part of the antagonists of job’s or joni’s. the lyrics are some of the best i’ve heard. “oh you tireless watcher, what have I done to you…” begs for a post of it’s own.
when i started the lenten project of keeping my mouth shut i did so because one thing i tried to be good at was not putting up borderlines with people, not drawing lines in the sand or running barb wire fences with my opinions. there is ways of being just without being confrontational or insincere with other’s beliefs and feelings. i kind of lost that. thus trying and sincerely trying to shut my mouth. poor Laura has heard me rant enough. time to tear down some fences.
powerful words about the magdalene asylums of ireland. some of the best imagery from a joni song, one of my favorites. there is an excellent movie about the asylums done in 2002 called the magdalene sisters please be aware of the graphic nature of the movie. if you never heard this song, check it out.
Branded as a jezebel
I knew I was not bound for Heaven
I’d be cast in shame
We’re trying to get things white as snow
All of us woe-begotten-daughters
Why do they call this heartless place
Our Lady of Charity?
These bloodless brides of Jesus
If they had just once glimpsed their groom
Then they’d know and they’d drop the stones
Concealed behind their rosaries
They wilt the grass they walk upon
They leech the light out of a room
They’d like to drive us down the drain
At the Magdalene laundries
like i said this album owns me… this will be my last post from night ride home, not for lack of material but i have next week to get through 3 more albums.
this album does a lot of reminiscing. not sure where joni’s mind was at this time. some say she was darker, i think there is always a point in life where we finally get real with ourselves and share our deepest need. mine was to quit playing the hard ass and be the one that welcomes people with grace. i still struggle with that, someday my guards up well actually quite high. but in reality all ever wanted was to come in from the cold….